Two Boats and a Helicopter

A retelling:

Once there was a flood, the kind of flood that would have made Noah nostalgic and made the rest of us start building arks. And a man of exceptionally strong faith in God was caught in the floodplain. He sat on his porch and watched as the waters rose, and filled the streets, and covered his lawn. Along came a boat with the man’s neighbors. They called to him and said they had room in the boat; they could take him to safety.

“No, no,” said the man. “God will save me!” And the neighbors rowed away.

The waters rose a little higher, and covered the porch; the man had to sit on his roof. Along came a boat, steered by the police. They called to him and said that the area was being evacuated, and they’d take him to higher ground.

“No, no,” said the man. “God will save me!” And the police motored away.

The waters rose higher still; the man had to cling to his chimney, barely holding on as the flood advanced. Along came a helicopter, flown by the National Guard, and the soldiers yelled down that they’d throw him a rope and lift him to safety.

“No, no!” the man yelled back. “God will save me!” And the Guards flew away.

Shortly thereafter the floodwaters swept the man off his chimney and he drowned.

He found himself in Heaven at the feet of God. Startled and dismayed, he cried out, “Lord, I believed in you; why didn’t you save me?”

God looked down at him with sorrowful eyes. “I sent your neighbors, the cops, and the National Guard; what more would you have me do?”

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